Ursula Burns' Advice to Young Women

The CEO of Xerox came under fire this week when she shared advice that she gives to young career women.  According to the Wall Street Journal, this was one of her suggestions:

1.      Find a good (older) husband. Burns met her husband, Lloyd Bean, while working at Xerox. A scientist and researcher, he was also 20 years her senior. “He had already gone through this ‘growing up’ stuff,” she says. The age difference proved advantageous when Burns’s job later required her to travel frequently and leave their two young children at home. Her husband retired, allowing Burns to focus on advancing her career. “So the secret,” she jokes, “is to marry someone 20 years older.”

This piece of advice- said with humor- instantly drew fire from all sides.  Feminists, of course, were the most furious.  Here was an extremely successful woman who was telling young women to marry well! 

I was not offended.  Actually, I appreciated her comments.  Maybe I'm missing the point, but I took her comments to mean that she couldn't have done it alone.  That she was successful with the support of her husband.  And I agree.

... And I rarely agree with Ursula Burns.  Along with Kodak's Antonio Perez she is one of the most vilified people in Rochester, the two of them almost singlehandedly responsible for destroying Rochester's two largest corporations and putting thousands of local individuals out of work.

But I agree with her here.  Because I wouldn't be successful either without my husband's support.  I suppose your definition of successful may be different than mine.  I'm not a CEO.  I'm not making huge money.  But I have a job that I love, kids I adore, and organizations that I commit time and energy to.  I consider myself successful even if it's not to the standards most would hold.

I am successful because I have a strong partner at home to help me. When I work nights and weekends, and have evening events, he is the one who picks up the kids and gets them fed and into bed.  He supports my various endeavors and volunteers to help out at events when I need an extra hand.  He empties the dishwasher and helps me tackle seven loads of laundry at the end of the week.   There is no way I could be involved in all of my own endeavors without his help and support.


I serve on three boards, am a member of a community service organization, a member of a professional women's group, serve as an executive of three organizations and am a part of several committees and special events.  There is no possible way I could be involved without my husband's support.

I know that there are feminists that will vehemently disagree with me.  As women we are supposed to be able to do it all.  Career, family, and personal health, all in one neat little woman dressed to the nines.  We are supposed to do it all, and well, on our own. 

Sure, there are women out there who can do it on their own.  Women who are very appalled right now as they read my words.  The single mothers, the divorcees, the power players that argue that they don't need anyone's help to be successful.  Good for them... I am not among their hallowed ranks.   I can't do it alone.  Not by a long shot.

And why can't we thank the men behind the scenes that make it all possible?

There is the old saying that "Behind every successful man is a woman." 

So why is it so wrong to admit that it's possible to happen the other way around too?