Maybe THIS is why you're still single

Today I went to the county health clinic for my H1N1 vaccine. Expecting to stand in line for a while (over an hour) I picked up some reading material. I considered Us Weekly, People, and the National Enquirer, but they all seemed a bit thin. And I was going to be in line a LONG time. So I picked up Cosmopolitan, which I haven't read since college.

And know I remember why.

I stopped my Cosmo subscription when I met Mark. I replaced it with Good Housekeeping, Martha Stewart, and Red Book. And for good reason.

College girls, if you're reading this (not that I think you are, but I didn't expect tattle-tale co-workers to read this either, so you never know), please take note. Cosmo is NOT your friend. It will not improve your love life.

Take for instance these suggestions:

-Ambush him with a butt squeeze to let him know that you so want him for his body.

-As you're drinking out of a bottle, let your mouth slide suggestively over the opening and look him in the eye as you take a sip.

-When you're leaving a party, let is slip to his friends that you're sorry to skip out but you just can't wait to, um, get him home.

And these are the tamest suggestions out of dozens printed. I can't reprint the rest here. All I can think is, are you kidding me?

Another article is entitled "How to turn a one-night-stand into a long term relationship."

I'll give you a hint ladies, if you're having one-night-stands, you're not ready for a long term relationship. And reading trashy advice from Cosmo is not going to help your cause.

I might be a domesticated old lady who subscribes to Good Housekeeping, but I'm insanely happy. If you have to resort to trashy pick-up tactics from Cosmo, are you?