Election Season

Yes, it is only June 9th. But the election season is here! Petition signing begins today, and I need to get out there and get 143 signatures to be on the Republican ticket for town board this fall.

Lets take some questions from our reporters

Reporter #1: Are you out of your frickin' mind?

Me: Well, it depends what you mean by that. Can you rephrase the question?

Reporter #1: Where do I even start? You're a busy working mom, the town board you want to join is dysfunctional and akin to a circus, and your own town political committee doesn't support you.

Me: Yup, that about sums it up. Oh, but you forgot to mention that I'll be campaigning while pregnant this summer. So to answer your question, in a word, yes.

Reporter #2: Are you a glutton for punishment?

Me: It would seem so, yes. But honestly, I am just sick and tired of seeing my town on the front page of the paper every day. The infighting and excessive spending and poor decision making has made us the laughing stock of the county and beyond. I hope to bring some common sense to the board.

Reporter #1: Do you really think it's so bad now? The town supervisor has been convicted of felony DWI and has been removed from office. Everyone knows that he was really the problem.

Me: I really think you're taking the easy way out to blame one individual in this whole mess. Marion may call him an "obnoxious drunk" but the only difference I see between the two of them is the drink.

Reporter #2: So you're going to run a negative campaign?

Me: Heck no, not if I can help it. What other people do and have done is not my concern. I am running because this is my home town and I love Canandaigua. I am running with absolutely no agenda, and I hope that I will be able to represent the residents in this community. That seems pretty cliche, but it's true.

Reporter #1: What about the fact that the candidate for town supervisor has paired up with two candidates that you'll have to primary in September?

Me: It was a bit of a surprise, really. Until a few days before the petition passing began they had never expressed any interest. But they can go on being secretive and scheming if they want. But I think that is exactly what people in Canandaigua are sick of. I guess we'll know for sure on September 15th. I offered to pass the supervisor candidate's petition but was turned down. I'm not going to worry about it. I have my own race to run.

Reporter #2: So this is definitely going to a primary in September then? What do you think about the other candidates?

Me: I wish them the best and I'm not going to say anything negative. Although the one clearly is taking a page out of Eva Perone's book. Maybe not so much her as a cross between Evita and Patty Blagojevich. Not that there's anything wrong with pushing your husband out of power so you can run for his seat...

Reporter #1: I think that was negative.

Me: Sorry.

Reporter #2: Anything else you want to add?

Me: Yeah, don't make me sound like an idiot in the paper, ok? Oh, and I also have the endorsement of the Independence Party. That is pretty exciting.

Reporter #1: Exciting how? You're a republican, why do you want to be on another ticket?

Me: Look, the board is obviously broken. It's our duty to do whatever we can, working with whoever we can (regardless of party) to fix it. Would I prefer an all-Republican board? Sure. But if an independent party candidate or a democrat can change course, I'm all for it. This is my town, man, quit making us look like snotty, exclusive yokels!

** Note: All negative comments are an attempt at humor, no matter how poorly executed. This message has been paid for by the committee to elect anyone other than a crazy person to the Canandaigua town board ***